A Quiet Place

My office is across the hallway from my son's room. When he was little, during the Dark Times, I would be so afraid of waking him, that when I'd feel a cough coming on, I'd run out of my office, through the bedroom, into the bathroom, into the walk-in closet, and bury my face in my hanging shirts and cough as quietly as I could.

I Can’t See

As any veteran parent will tell you, your kid's poop comes in stages. Newborn poop, baby poop, and then grown-up poop. The first time my wife was out of the house and I had to change a real dirty diaper, I gagged so hard I went blind for five seconds.